


Subtext

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Abusive Snoke (Star Wars), Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Conflicted Kylo Ren, Conflicted Poe Dameron, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Torture, Poe Dameron Has Issues, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Pre-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Survivor Guilt, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings, Weird Fluff, disguises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:15:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28160778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Poe meets up with a very familiar bounty hunter in a bar.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Poe Dameron/Kylo Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	Subtext

**Author's Note:**

  * For [auxbloood](https://archiveofourown.org/users/auxbloood/gifts).



> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: For auxbloood. 
> 
> Happy holidays! I’m sorry that this turned out angstier than I anticipated.

If there was someone who knew Poe Dameron well, they would say that his costume very much resembled the spice runners that he used to be a part of. The shiny suit, though his was orange rather than Zorii’s purple, the visor that covered everything but his eyes. Which was useful, considering that he was actually trying to see in the cantina. 

It seemed that even after he had left the spice runners, Zorii was still very much looking after him, Poe mused even as he made his way through patrons, through everyone. It was cowardly, what he was doing. But sometimes...sometimes he didn’t know how much he could take. 

Sometimes. 

Even as he sat down, Poe doubted that he had ever been more tired in his life. He could all but feel like the energy had been drained from him. 

It hadn’t, really. Not exactly. But it certainly felt like it did. 

***

The man who sat opposite Poe, dressed in what he could assume was a bounty hunter’s uniform, reminded Poe of Ben (Kylo, he reminded himself. It was still painful to remember that his best friend, the man he loved, had become the enemy.

”Lost?” said the man. Something about the way his voice was filtered...no. It was just a coincidence. It was a different filter. This sounded more Fett-like, actually. Kylo’s had sounded like something out of hell. 

(Something that could go from menacing to tender without so much as breaking stride, Poe thought. It had scared him, though it was a detail that he didn’t really bring up. Not like...the rest of the torture)

(Stars, he thought he’d meant something to Ben)

”Guess you could say that,” Poe said. “Fresh blood?”

”That depends.” The bounty hunter surveyed the bar room. “Are you?”

”Just...want to get away for a while.”

***

Neither one of them drank. Poe didn’t know why the other one didn’t, but he knew he at least wanted to get back to the Resistance without being so drunk he couldn’t walk in a straight line. That he knew. 

“So,” Poe said. “What are you up to?”

The bounty hunter paused. “Relieving stress, primarily. You could say that I’m surrounded by idiots.”

”That bad?”

The bounty hunter dipped his head. “You could say that. I became head of my guild because I thought I could reform it, from the inside. I always wanted to change the galaxy. Now...now I don’t know what I’m doing."

”That’s...rough.” Poe shoved aside his wondering about why he had never heard of this bounty hunter before. It wasn’t the right time, when he needed someone to talk to. "How’d you take over?”

”My mentor...he was charismatic,” said the bounty hunter. “He lured me in. I thought he was wise, but I learned quickly he was...not. There was a man I loved tremendously, and my mentor threatened to have him killed if I didn’t...torture him.”

”So you did?” Poe didn’t know what to think of that. He ought to see this bounty hunter as a monster. But if he didn’t want to do it, if he was under duress...where did you fit that in, then? 

A nod. “He’d find new and creative ways of hurting me too. My mentor, that is. And then I killed him. Most of it was because I realized that everything I did was for nothing. It wasn’t enough."

Poe swallowed. Suddenly, he didn’t know if he really wanted anything to drink. “Sounds like you were taken in by a really bad person,” he said. 

A bitter chuckle from the bounty hunter. "It’s not that simple. I’ve done things I can’t even talk about.”

”I have too.”

”Really now?" The bounty hunter tilted his head. 

“Yeah.” Poe looked down at the table. “I got my superior officer killed because I didn’t trust her.”

He told the bounty hunter about Holdo. Of course he did. He left out specific details — names, identifying details of the Resistance, even how Holdo died; it was safe to say that the “Holdo maneuver” had gone down in history for how it had effectively decimated the First Order fleet. But he was surprised when the bounty hunter said, “It sounds like you’re a good person. Certainly better than me. You just...made a mistake. You remember the phrase ‘the road to the Corellian hells is paved with good intentions’?"

”Um, yeah?”

”Exactly. You’re a very good person. You’d have to be to care that much about your friends.”

”Not just them,” Poe said. “But yeah." He sighed. “But yeah, H — that lady committed suicide essentially because of me.”

”She did it because she chose to,” said the bounty hunter. “It sounds like she really loved all of you, in her way.”

”My other superior officer thinks it’s my fault.”

”Have you considered she’s wrong?"

Leia, wrong? Maybe...she hadn’t told Poe Kylo Ren’s true identity. "Um...not really. But...”

”She might have at least been angry. Looking for someone to blame. Or just that petty.”

”Maybe the former,” Poe said. A sigh. “I can’t believe you’re the only one who believes in me.”

"Even if I am, I don’t regret it.”

There was something about that unbridled faith there that almost reminded Poe of that faith Ben had in him. 

Maybe he was just hallucinating. Seeing Ben everywhere, even in the face of a bounty hunter whose face he couldn’t see. 

***

They had to leave. Of course they did. Even making his way back to the Steadfast, Kylo Ren — the bounty hunter from earlier — shed his disguise when he reached his quarters. He didn’t think he’d do this but sometimes he got the impression that he just needed to escape. To run. And that man...

He had felt like Poe. Was Poe. And Poe had no idea who he was. Even thinking about it — was that what he had done to Poe? Was that...?

He sat down, feeling already like there were so many words left unsaid. So many things he just wanted to tell Poe. About how he wished he had been stronger. How he wished for just about everything. 

"I’m sorry, Poe,” he said. “I’m sorry, for everything. And I love you...after everything.”


End file.
